Poo on my shoe and insights about me and you

I talked to a group of small business owners this morning about my upcoming book, Write Like You Talk–Only Better.

They seemed to understand the importance of first thinking about their ideal reader and just what they want them to think or do.

They listened intently, as shown by the absence of Blackberry checking, while I summarized some of the structures they should use for different objectives.

They appreciated the importance of revising to fix embarrassing mistakes and make their content shorter and more focused.

But many of them had trouble with the notion of personalizing their writing. They worried they would look unprofessional. While they saw the merit of connecting with their ideal reader through a more conversational tone, some did not seem quite ready to write as “me” to “you.”

Still, these cautious ones told me they were going to read more blogs to get a better sense of friendlier writing. And they would probably give “me” and “you” a try. Once they see results, I know most will switch.

Or maybe they were just going along with me in the hopes I’d finish and leave. You see, after I sat down, I realized I had earlier stepped in dog poo. When no one was looking, I quietly wiped it off my high heel with a leftover muffin wrapper then cleaned up in the ladies room.

Thank goodness I hadn’t seen the poo while I was up there talking. But now I’m worried some of the evaluations will says the speaker stank. Serenity now!

Only 30 days left till Christmas

Time to send holiday email greetings for clients, colleagues and prospects.

If you’re too busy for card signing and stuffing but want to be more personal and professional than those holiday e-cards with the animated snow, check out our easy solution. We’ll help you pen a warm holiday message, embody the spirit of giving through a link to your favorite charity and place your copy, images and list in your customized template.

All for $150, much less expensive than cards and stamps. If you’re interested, email me at barb@stickycommunication.ca.

Holiday cards are a great way to stay in touch with clients, colleagues and the people you’ve met over the past year. Don’t miss out on this once-in-a-year opportunity to build relationships and foster good will.

Serenity now! And what I learned about customer service from my computer guy, plumber and hairdresser

This was supposed to be a post about how serene I am after a weekend retreat at a Jesuit monastery. Instead, it’s about how I arrived home to a malware attack, evidence of a clandestine teen party, the hot water tap on our only bath/shower dying, my daughter losing her wallet on the bus… You get the picture.

Had I not spent a weekend in pastoral tranquility my reaction would have been much worse. The rationale part of my brain could have shut down, my eye lids could have twitched wildly and I could have resorted to emptying the cookie jar into my stomach while yelling at my kids.

Instead I stood up to the evil claims of Alpha Antivirus, which insisted my computer was under a trojan assault that could be defeated only by purchasing this misnamed software.

I ran trusty old Norton through my computer, thinking it would identify and fix the problem. Not at all. At least my suspicions about the malware were confirmed. Sadly, my computer continued to cry out in pain, with frequent crashes, surprise setting changes and more.

Unfortunately, my computer guy Antonio does not work Mondays so I decided to tackle the problem myself. I did not consider going elsewhere because good computer guys, like hairdressers and plumbers, deserve absolute loyalty.

I tried two programs, that helped but didn’t solve the problem. So I’ve switched computers and plan to take the sick one to Antonio later.

I know I’m in good hands. In addition to fixing the problem, he will give me some free advice on preventing a recurrence and chat about his mother in Chile.

I had called my plumber, but he wasn’t available till next week. I have been very loyal ever since he replaced my leaking toilet tank with a gently used one (aqua, not easy to find) after I had burst into tears when I was going through a painful divorce made worse by vulture lawyers draining my finances.

Fortunately, the kind plumber recommended another plumber, so I didn’t feel I was cheating.

My horoscope had told me I was in for major expenses today, so I was braced for the worst, the need to lavishly renovate both bathrooms and not bathe until sometime in 2010. What a relief.

The repair was quick and reasonable and the sweat from yesterday’s workout has finally been scraped off.

The tides had started to turn earlier, with my daughter no longer in tears about the lost wallet when she got up this morning. After belting out I Will Survive, she had segued into some cheery popular tunes. I should explain that she’s at a performing arts school so our home often looks like the stage of a broadway musical.

I expect her wallet will turn up at the transit lost and found, probably with no money but with her transit pass and health insurance card. When she gets home with the news, we will burst into a nicely harmonized duet.

Or maybe not. I still have to figure out how to prevent unsupervised parties and too-frequent losses of valuables.

Thanks to reality, I’m not in a serene state of mind. I feel like George’s father on Seinfeld, yelling “Serenity now,” as if stress can be commanded to leave any more than a quick free download is going to fix my computer or the bandaid solution a contractor had made to my tap during one of my endless renovations would keep it functioning forever.

With my hair now air drying after that luxurious shower, I’m remembering that I’m due for a cut and highlights. Hope my stylist isn’t booked up. I really can’t go anywhere else, without feeling guilty about the times he’s squeezed me in or made me feel good when I think I look old and fluffy, as I like to call it.

Which brings me to today’s lesson. Like my computer guy, plumber and hairdresser, I need to do great work for my clients. But, I also need to throw in a few favors, ask about each their families and make them feel good about themselves.

Follow their examples and your customers will not stray. They’ll know they can count on you, even when they are pulling out their hair screaming “Serenity now!”

Laugh more at work: 3 tips

We all know that laughter reduces stress, increases energy, motivates and makes people feel better about themselves and others. Yet many offices, or cubicle farms, are serious spaces, with people worrying that a joke could offend, inspire ridicule or make them look unworthy of promotion.

Yes, humor can bring risks. But, handled the right way, the risks are outweighed by the rewards of happier people.

After too many years of serious corporate writing, I’ve tried to be funny in some of my blog posts. As some of my readers might agree, often I’m a comedian only in my own mind. In case you didn’t catch on, this is an example of self-deprecating humor. No belly laughs, but maybe you smiled.

From much of the tedious communication that crosses my desk, I know that many others need help to rediscover their inner comedian.

I asked for advice from one of the funniest people I know, Kathleen McAulay, therapeutic clown, stand-up comedian and workplace humor consultant.

That last title is not a joke. She’s worked with many organizations that recognize the benefits of laughter.

Kathleen offered three tips for revving up humour: be yourself, tell stories and interact.

1. Be yourself
Kathleen urges would-be office comics to think about the kind of humor that works for them. “Some people just can not tell a joke, but they’re quick with the one-liners. Other people may want to illustrate their point with a funny story about what their kid did the other day.” Observational humour, satire, exaggeration, fantasy or silliness may also work.

To make my humor work for me, I might leverage the fact that I’m a speed talker. When I get going too fast, I will often pause briefly, telling people I need to breathe and let them catch up.

The point is to cultivate your personal brand of humor. As Jerry Seinfeld said: “The whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be.”

2. Tell stories
Pick the physical details that will help your audience visualize your story. Share feelings they can identify with. Although the stories should be based on the truth, feel free to exaggerate wildly.

For example, I’ve written about my frustration with my 82-year-old mother who insists on smoking outside of her nursing home in raging blizzards. I point out that she permits me to wheel in her snow-crusted body before hypothermia strikes.

Or, when talking about saving money during the recession, Kathleen urges people to wear knee pads and a helmet when shopping at Value Village on half-price day.

3. Interact
With live humor, you must interact with the audience. Kathleen advises people want to inject more humor into their presentations or meetings to take courses in improv comedy. “It’s the best way to learn how to read your audience and learn how to communicate through body language, tone and rhythm.”

For written humor, Kathleen recommends writing in a conversational tone, as if you were performing, building in phrases and styles that suggest body language, pauses and other live elements.

Now you’re probably rolling your eyes and making that “tsk” sound between your teeth, while muttering “How can I convey body language and interact?” Hint: I just did.

Kathleen encourages people to test out their comedy, especially if they’re in doubt, with someone who will be brutally honest.

Stay away from the sarcasm and humor that could take a nasty turn. Kathleen promotes humor that builds up, not tears down.

Why do we need more laughter at work?
Laughter reduces stress by making people breathe deeply and shift their focus. As Mark Twain wrote: “Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit take their place.”

We spend more time with the people at work than we do with our families so there are plenty of reasons to laugh more. Here are a few.
• The bottom line will be served by decreasing stress and increasing motivation, energy and creativity.
• Customer service will be lifted up to a level of personal expression that warms customers, suppliers and prospects. Bosses, project leaders, customer service reps and sales people will connect with their teams and customers.
• People are far more likely to remember what you’ve said. “It’s like a highlighter,” Kathleen says.
• Humor makes us less likely to want to shoot one another.

Merger communication: bang, smoking, still hot

One of the signs the economy is recovering is the increase in merger activity. What’s most important to the success of two organizations coming together is a communication plan that encourages good employees to stay and productivity to maintain.

From my experience advising and writing on several mergers, I know that these are scary, emotional times. Employees worry they may lose their job, hate their new boss, be forced to acquire new skills, give up their favorite perks or become lost in a stormy sea.

Because the emotional intensity changes as the merger progresses, I develop plans for three distinct phases:
1. the big bang, when you need to introduce people and provide some clarity and reassurance
2. smoking, when you let people know when to expect decisions and the context in which they will be made, for example whether job security will be determined by the value the individual adds or seniority
3. still hot-when you foster a sense of belonging, while recognizing the ongoing sensitivities

The big bang
When a merger is announced, uncertainty and a lack of trust will create a vacuum that will be filled by rumor and fear. Start filling the vacuum by introducing people and companies.

In the early days, executives are the critical spokespeople because they represent the new or changing organization. Managers are the link from leaders to employees.

During the first week or two, executives should visit as many locations and meet as many people as they can. Although distance may force them to meet some people virtually, they should look to video conferencing and other interactive, personal technologies and stay away from faceless memos and emails.

They should talk about why they bought the company, the values they share and reveal some of their strategy and philosophy. Employees will feel better if they are given a general idea of where the organization is headed.

To ensure leaders are consistent and clear, they should deliver the same key messages and use the same supporting slides and material. They need to take pains to avoid acronyms, corporate jargon or terms new employees might not understand. The language should be concise, simple and calm.

Managers should reinforce these messages with their teams. They should also find out about questions or concerns.

Smoking
As the integration continues, managers will play a larger role, explaining issues and decisions to their employees. Standard communication vehicles from newsletters to intranets will also ramp up.

Also growing in importance will be feedback from managers, surveys, focus groups, Facebook and other social media, dedicated voice mail boxes and a variety of other sources.

Because uncertainty abounds, employees need some reassurance, such as knowing the timing of decisions on issues that affect them. Employees should be informed of these kinds of changes by their manager, individually or in small groups depending on the sensitivity, before the announcement is made to the rest of the company and well ahead of media announcements.

Still hot
Once the new reality starts to take shape, employees need to understand and engage.

Although much of the fear of the unknown will have passed, they will still be adjusting to new brands, technologies, people and ways of doing things.

That’s why it’s important to foster a sense of belonging to the new or larger organization through coffee mugs, jackets and other trinket bearing corporate logos. It’s also time for sports leagues, charity fundraising, parties and other celebrations.

To adapt to new systems and processes, they’ll need communication that explains how the change will affect them personally. Posted interviews with employees who are already using the technology or new ways are a good way to provide information and credibility.

At this stage, many employees will not only be more comfortable with the new status quo but will also see how some of their colleagues have created opportunities from the changes. Profile these employees on the intranet, newsletters and other forums and encourage managers to talk about them in meetings.

How well employees will cope with the changes will vary with the individual and culture of the organization. But companies that are merging should assume that most employees will feel fear and other emotions and plan communication strategies that aim directly at their hearts.

My inner child dances

Way back in the 80s, it was cool to get in touch with your inner child. People who had more than the ideal amount of responsibility or discipline foisted on them as children were encouraged to enjoy some of the fun and love they had missed.

The ideal many of us felt so cheated on was based less on real life and more on sitcoms, before TV families become dysfunctional. It got out of hand when some zealots started toting around teddy bears.

Still, much of this philosophy is relevant and inspiring, as I was reminded this week when I attended a seminar about uncovering your brilliance. The morning was laden with cheery aphorisms and acronyms, helpful prods to put me back on track, but not much new or profound. Or so I assumed.

But then the leaders, Carolyn Ellis and Jan Marie Dore, insisted we go back to our childhood and visualize what brought us joy.

My mind immediately rewound to a scene of me, around two or three, dancing. My mother, a talented singer and pianist, had given me a record player and children’s classical albums. Swaying and spinning to Hall of the Mountain King, March of the Toreadors or the Dance of the Sugarplumb Fairy –I can still feel it.

Even better was dancing for an audience, which I did every time my parents had guests. I was too “heavy-footed,” as they tactfully said, to dream of becoming a prima ballerina. But I enjoyed the chuckles the grownups politely tried to conceal when I tripped or fell, then turned to the audience and earnestly explained it was supposed to be part of the dance.

Throughout my childhood, I continued performing in ballet, tap and jazz shows, piano recitals, choir concerts, church services, school plays and more. Then I became a teenager and stopped because I was self-conscious and my genres were not hip. What a shame.

As an adult, I’ve written for many business and political performers, but remained back stage until recent years, when I’ve tentatively eased toward the spotlight. My sense of humour, once dulled by serious business, is shining brighter too.

I love it. The seminar confirmed I need to keep reclaiming this brilliance.

If you missed those earlier chicken soup, self-discovery movements, don’t despair. Just think about what made you happy as a child and how you might apply it to your life today. It’s so easy.

But please, no teddy bears, in public at least.

3 reasons to test drive a newsletter before the new year

Maybe you’ve thought about publishing a newsletter, but haven’t followed through because of time, money or other reasons. Maybe it’s even on your new year’s resolution list, much like losing 10 pounds is usually on mine.

Although the content may be similar, three big differences may lead you to use an email newsletter instead of, or in addition to, a blog:
1. your desire to push content to and build relationships with a targeted, interested group of people
2. your need to publish less frequently, often monthly instead of every day or so, as many bloggers feel pressured to do
3. reports on who opened the newsletter and who clicked the links, valuable intelligence for your sales and marketing efforts.

What’s more, subscribers are more likely to become emotionally attached to a newsletter, as research has confirmed.

If you’re already blogging, you can recycle content and send it to people who would prefer to receive more meaningful information less often, or who are more comfortable with email than RSS feeds, social media and other ways you promote your posts.

Like a blog, a newsletter can help you build your business by regularly showing your colleagues and prospects what an expert you are.

But don’t take my word for it. If you have the time and are comfortable with writing and simple technology, try a free do-it-yourself trial with constantcontact, mailchimp, myemma, icontact, aweber, bettermail or one of the many other email newsletter services that use simple, inexpensive templates.

If you need planning, writing, design or tech services or support, you can take a free, no-obligation test drive with me.

All you need to invest is a few hours thinking about your objectives and what you’d like to say in your first issue, talking to me on the telephone, reviewing what I’ve written and enjoying the praise from the people on your list.

After your first issue, I can put together a plan and a price that suits your time, budget and comfort levels.

What’s more, I can help you leverage your newsletter content through blogs, article directories, public speaking and many other ways.

Although I’ll help with the writing or editing, the newsletter will be in your voice and reflect your expertise.

If you and your audience are so complex or specialized that you need a writer or editor with experience in your area, I can match you up through my talent pool.

We’ll base your copy on what you’ve said in a telephone interview, shortening it, sometimes livening it up and avoiding the grammar mistakes that can make you look unprofessional.

I also know how to write subject lines, heads and preview panes that will lead people to open your email as soon as they see it in their inbox.

With the new year approaching, it’s a great time to start planning.

With a free trial or a test drive, this could well be the easiest resolution on your list. Start now and you can be ready to roll before you pop the cork on the champagne.

If you want to think about how you could become a better known expert through newsletters, download my free book on planning.

If you’re ready to talk, give me a call at (416) 690-0968. Or send me an email with a good time to call you at barb@stickycommunication.ca.

The test drive will be fun, like trying out a fast, luxury car.

I survived H1N1–no big risk

I’m in the final throes of what I assume is the dreaded H1N1 virus, my brain sufficiently recovered to write, my body grateful I can work from home.

Like millions of people, I suffered through a mild flu strain. I caught it from my teenaged daughter, who likely got it from sharing joints with her friends, who all came down with it.

Sharing joints makes little sense at the best of times. But apparently the risk assessment synapses of the teenaged brain remain undeveloped, which explains why so many end up in the hospital because of drugs, drinking, driving and the daredevil acts they film for YouTube. No wonder we parents worry. And catch their bugs.

I am not at all concerned about the sudden related pneumonia that sends people to intensive care. This is definitely not my worst flu experience.

I made the best of it, revisiting all that’s good on daytime TV: Ellen’s monologue, hot topics on The View and the soap opera I’ve watched when I’m sick since I was little girl. Then there was all the news coverage about clinic lineups and people ranting about their right to the vaccine.

Here in Toronto, the tipping point for H1N1 panic came with the death of 13-year-old with no known underlying health conditions. Since then people have stampeded the vaccine clinics, which are now rationed for high-risk people.

Next week, they are planning to inoculate school-aged children, which has left many people in my low-risk group frothing at the mouth.

Given their funding cuts, the public health clinics have coped as best they could. I would even cut some slack for big pharma, GlaxoSmithKline, which delivered less than expected because production was interrupted to cook up a special batch for high-risk pregnant women. Good call.

Once the pandemic is over, officials will study what went wrong and what they should do better next time. For now, everyone involved is too busy taking care of high-risk people.

They don’t have time for the drama of low-risk people who don’t normally opt for the free seasonal flu shot. So let’s spend less time getting angry and face the fact that H1N1 will be a mild virus for most of us.

In Freakonomics, Steven Levitt sifted through many studies to determine what our real risks are. He found that parents of young children should worry far more about backyard swimming pools and far less about car seats. Normally parents of teens are supposed to worry more about teenaged boys driving cars than they are about their kids sharing joints.

Fortunately, we have great public transit here so teenaged boys driving is not a concern. Yes, I wish my daughter wouldn’t smoke dope, let alone share joints. To enforce that, I would have to stand watch 24 hours a day, which would make us both crazier than mad cow disease.

But I am relieved she isn’t driving with boys, just as I always made sure my kids couldn’t sneak into my mother-in-law’s backyard pool and just as I’m so relieved that her asthmatic friend has fully recovered.

If I hadn’t already had the flu, I would probably line up for a shot when it becomes widely available. The risk of Guillain Barre syndrome and other rare side effects outweighs the risk of not getting the vaccine. But I am pleased that I don’t have to bother. Maybe Bill Maher has a point. Probably not.

My suspicion is that the numbers for H1N1 are under-reported. I’d love to see the media report more on attendance rates at workplaces and schools. Like me, most sick people are too tired to drag themselves to the doctor’s office and know better than to spread our germs that way.

Most of us get better by following the advice that I’ve parroted for clients, in pandemic plans, earlier swine flu advisories and just last week in H1N1 updates. Stay home. Rest. Call 9-1-1 if you have trouble breathing. And don’t waste time on fantasy risks.

From my experience, however, I would like to add one piece of advice: don’t share joints. Not that the teens will listen

Why is selling so difficult?

I spend a lot of the time on the phone every day interviewing people for articles I write. So why is it so difficult to pick up the phone and make a sales call?

I’m not talking about cold calls, which only the most fearless or foolish enjoy. I mean calls to very qualified leads.

I met with a new business adviser last week who practically ordered me to get on the phone. Rather than bitch about the recession or blame all the time this blog and my book is consuming, why don’t I simply call my top prospects?

Let me point out that I am not a shy person. I love to talk. Too much, some would say.

Still, I want people to come to me and beg me to work for them.

I know that referrals are the best marketing. But I also realize that sometimes they are not enough.

Something about sales has never sat well with me. Although I’ve put in my time writing marketing copy, I much prefer content that educates, enlightens and entertains.

That’s why I’m thrilled with the growth of content marketing. No creating needs or exploiting weaknesses. Even the Dalai Lama would approve.

What amazed me were the results I’ve achieved from my first few calls. The first insisted God was answering her prayers. We’ve met, I’ve prepared a proposal and we’re raring to go. The second said my timing couldn’t have been better and we’re going to talk more next week. The third asked me to send more information about my “great” idea.

Despite this, I am still procrastinating. Suddenly I am finding too much billable work and volunteer commitments. I am even paying taxes, the one task I procrastinate on more than sales.

Why does this happen? Was I scarred as a child when I didn’t sell as many fundraising chocolate bars as my rival? Was I a wicked used car salesman in a past life? I don’t know.

Will selling get easier? I hope so.

After all, I can delegate the financial and tech stuff I dread. But I can’t delegate myself. That’s what I’m selling.

Standing up for TV news

It was like a punch to the stomach when I walked into the CBC newsroom many years ago, before business casual, to see my beloved news anchors and reporters, groomed and suited from the waist up, but scruffy blue jeans and running shoes where the cameras didn’t go.

That visit drove home how artificial television news is. Pretend-live interviews recorded many hours earlier. Multiple cameras and takes. Fake reaction shots. Computer graphics that rival rock concerts.

When Canadian taxpayer-supported CBC unveiled its new set and format last night, I noticed that on-air journalists are now forced to wear entire outfits and are probably toning up at the gym. That’s because much of the news is now delivered standing up.

Even anchor Peter Mansbridge, no spring chicken, was forced to stand, though I suspect there’s a comfy chair hidden just off camera.

I first noticed this standing trend a while ago on competitor CTV. Although the anchors continue to luxuriate in chairs, the camera often swings to specialty health or entertainment reporters, rigidly planted on some lonely island elsewhere in the pretend-newsroom set.

At least Peter’s colleagues stand near him, though across a glass table, bantering and introducing their clips.

This leads me to wonder: do they believe that successful standup comedy evolved from talking head comedy? Of course not.

Standup news is simply one more way television is trying to adapt to the new world of digital media. Every news provider is frantically searching for the elusive alchemy.

Just recently my regular newspaper, the Globe and Mail, began promoting heavily what’s coming up.

I don’t get it. When I discover a new newspaper, it’s usually through a search engine, which is how many quality newspapers are expanding their audience.

But my morning read still hinges on a mug of coffee and a couch. The only advantage of all the promos is that I get to work faster because there’s less to read.

Yet I love many of the Globe’s innovations, from the reporter who tweets incessantly to insightful video interviews of women behind veils.

CBC news is evolving too, with podcasts, online commentary and satellite radio broadening its reach.

All this experimenting is prompted by news executives trying to figure out the precise formula for making money.

In the November issue of Vanity Fair Michael Wolf talks about how Rupert Murdoch is stubbornly insisting on pay walls to monetize the news. The fall of a grand titan, I predict.

Then there are the millions of bloggers valiantly trying to make money from their sites. Although some new voices will break through the racket, it’s unlikely that most of us will ever use our sites for more than promoting our businesses or having fun.

I don’t think standing up is going to attract more viewers to TV news, any more than a poorly produced video, the blogging trend du jour, would make me a six-figure blogger much faster.

But I do know that some day someone will figure it out. That someone could be a well-oiled but slow-moving convergence conglomerate. Or it could be fleet-footed bloggers like us.